Ok, I can't take credit for this since it was posted on another forum by someone more creative than I, but it's so darn funny (and true!), that I had to share: ‐-------------- 1. Don't watch people back in. 2. Watch people back in, it's great fun. 3. Don't talk to people when they are backing in. 4. Be neighborly. But leave people alone. 5. Don't run lights, your AC, or your generator at night. 6. You can drive with your propane on. 7. Don't drive with your propane on. 8. You can drive with your generator on. 9. Don't sleep at rest areas. They are for truck drivers only. 10. No they aren't. Yes they are. No they aren't. 11. Have a checklist or you're going to drive down the road with hoses flapping, awnings flying, and your family dog tied to the bumper. 12. RV Internet is super easy to figure out, you just need a flux capacitor from T-mobileAttSprint, 7 yards of coax cable, and a wine rack on your roof. But have two other systems as back up just in case. 13. You think RV Internet is confusing, let's talk solar setups! 14. Batteries. Probably going to need more no matter what you do. Let's see how many golf cart batteries we can fit in the basement. 15. Insulate the wall behind your fridge. Add seven fans to your fridge. Probably still not going to be enough and you're going to lose your food several times before you figure it out. 16. Don't bring your dog in your RV. Or your kids. Or anything that makes noise. 17. Dogs, kids, and summer fun-noise are essential to RVing! Bring them all! 18. If your RV is over ten years old, you go to the back of the park, next to the swamp, watch out for those rusty barrels marked TOXIC that are right on the edge of your site. 20. Get walkie talkies. You need them for backing in. 21. Get a surge protector. Your RV will fry without it, and if you don't lock it up, it will get stolen. 22. Get an RV GPS. If you don't, you'll probably end up dead under a low hanging underpass. Whatever GPS you get, it's probably going to still try to kill you when you aren't paying attention. 23. 300 miles a day or you will be sorry. 24. 800 miles a day or you are a lazy meatsack! 25. Harvest Hosts are awesome! Unless you are an alcoholic because 95% of them are wineries. 26. Plan ahead! All the good spots are taken. 27. Don't plan ahead, enjoy the mysteries and freedom of RV life! Stay where you want! 28. Walmart parking lots are great. 29. Can't stay at some Walmart parking lots. Other Walmart parking lots, you're probably going to wake up in your bathtub missing your kidneys. 30. Cracker Barrel is the place to stay now! Except they only have 4 RV spots and now everyone knows about Cracker Barrel so head up to the Rest area on the freeway, but wait, don't stay there because truckers...ugh. 31. Whatever you think you're going to tow, you can't! It weighs too much because that number you thought was important isn't the right number to be looking at. You need a Ford F950 to pull that corolla! 32. Horse Hockey! I can pull a train engine with my Class C! Watch me! 33. Full Timers ruin it for everyone. 34. Casual RVers ruin it for everyone. 35. RV Renters ruin it for everyone. 36. Millenial Rvers ruin it for everyone. 37. Boomer RVers ruin it for everyone. 38. Boondockers ruin it for everyone. 39. Stay at RV parks. Leave the Boondocking for people that need to boondock. 40. Boondock. You haven't lived until you've boondocked in the desert with coyotes curled up at your feet while you play the wooden flute and drink home made tequila while it's 110 degrees inside your non-AC travel trailer. 41. Coach-Net is the best. Good Sam sucks donkey butt. FMCA is great too. 42. FMCA? What the heck is that? Never heard of it. 43. Good Sam saved our lives! Coach Net is for snobs in new Diesel pushers that get to park up front at the park. 44. They all suck. Just use the one that comes with your insurance, stupid noob! 45. Cable TV at a park. What's that? Cable? People still have cable? 46. Free Wi Fi at a campground is apparently the newest circle of hell. 47. KOA is the greatest place on earth. Except when it's the worst. 48. If you don't go to Destin, you are nobody. 49. Florida is full. It's booked up through 2032. 50. You're going to screw up your black water tank/dumping procedure and get covered head to toe in poop. it's inevitable. Just accept that it will happen.
And then other people added: 51. Don't start a fire. Wood smoke is the devil. 52. Wood smoke is part of camping! Propane fire pits are the devil. 53. DON'T WALK THROUGH OTHER PEOPLE'S SITES!!! 54. You need an e-bike. No, don't ask why, just get one. 55. When you gas up, make sure to stand at the pump when finished, check your rig, have a coffee, fill up your tires, even those hard to get ones that make you do the monkey dance. Never, ever move out of the pump lane for these things. 56. Do #55 and people will be completely justified to murder you. 57. You need a Non-CDL for your rig. But it's still a Commercial non-CDL. 58. In regards to #57, um, whut? 59. Tents are just obstacles meant to be driven over when parking your much more important rig. Why do they even let those peons stay where I'm staying? 60. Invest as much money as you can in a great RV so you can enjoy the great outdoors. Stay inside your air conditioned RV and watch TV. Outdoors is overrated.
After RVing for a bunch of years I'm pretty much up on all the pointers mentioned except for #49. So rather than push our luck we're heading for Muskogee, Oklahoma on our next trip down the road. One of the best places in the country to toss out the anchor and spend a hour or so............ Funny stuff Fitz. Thanks for giving us all a good laugh................ Regards, Terry...........(aka BankShot)
